5 reasons why you should set boundaries with your ex
Have you ever experienced an ex-boyfriend calling your phone randomly out of nowhere? I’ve had my share of calls from my past more than I’ve like to gloat about. I don’t know if it is my Scorpion nature to always be skeptical about why this person thinks of me out of the blue.
However, I know that we are all human and we have an intention behind whatever we do. Whether we want to be upfront right away with that true intention or not, it eventually comes to the light. I like to uncover the ex’s true intentions as soon as possible because I hate wasting time and energy and I am sure you feel the same way.
Do you ever wonder what their true intentions are? Well, let’s get the 5 reasons why you should set boundaries with your ex:
One: He ran into a mutual friend or family member and he wanted to reach out to see how you are doing.
This is very common honestly and could be completely innocent. If you are in a relationship or not reaching out to say hello to an ex to see they are doing is not bad to me. This is someone you once loved or cared for is a beautiful thing in my opinion. As long as the “checking in” stage doesn’t go any further (if you or your ex is in a committed relationship). If you both are single this might be a beginning to a rekindling of a friendship or more.
Two: He saw you on “people you might know” on social media and reached out to see how you were doing.
Okay, this happens more times than I could count. You’re sitting there on your phone and “people you might know” pops up at the top of your timeline and there she or he is your ex. Whether you friend request and send a message or simply send a message checking in to see how they are doing is nice to do if your intentions are pure. Ultimately, there is always a line that could be crossed if he isn’t forthcoming about his current status or true intentions with you.
Three: It didn’t work out with the other girl.
This here is a classic. Sometimes you have unfinished business with someone you once were with. Honestly, I’ve been there myself once. There could still be love between you two. Maybe it has been many years and people might have grown up and things could be different now. From experience, take it very slow with an ex after they or you have come out of a relationship. People don’t naturally like change and they fight it with a tooth and nail. It is a slight chance your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend didn’t change all that much. You have to consider why you broke up in the first place. I am not here to say people don’t change, it is possible. However, from my experience, I believe it is more of a risk to take an ex back than it is to meet someone new.
Four: He realized he made a huge mistake and he wants to reach out and see if he can rekindle the fire you guys once had.
This is him being genuine when he comes to you. People make mistakes from time to time. One thing that doesn’t waiver is the love you have for someone. There can be many reasons why you broke up so I would refer to #3 as well for this one. I’m not one who would say not to go back to an ex. However, I am one who would say to take your sweet ass time with making sure this is the person you want to invest your time, body, emotions, and energy into again.
Five: He misses your sex.
I honestly don’t blame him for this one (if I could gloat for a moment). At this point, he could be single and if that is the case it isn’t as bad as if he was in a committed relationship. This all depends on where you are in your life. If you are single and you just want to have fun with someone who you are comfortable with then it could be a win-win for the both of you. Now, if either one of you is in a committed relationship or his intentions are to come back because he misses you sex than pump the breaks. Let’s just all be honest adults and understand the consequences of our actions before we take an action we might regret, shall we?
The moral of my story is, to be honest about what you want even if the other person isn’t. Too many people beat around the bush around and try to mask their true intentions which are genuinely a waste of time, emotions, and energy in my opinion. If you want to be friendly then be friendly. If you want a relationship then say that. If you want sex then say you want sex. It is just as simple as that.
Share with me below other reasons why your ex called you randomly out of the blue below.