helping you heal from depression, social anxiety, and low self-esteem

I will be a Mommy! The story of miscarriages, defeat, and blessings.

I will be a Mommy! The story of miscarriages, defeat, and blessings.

It’s been a long journey for me. I am under the age of 30 years old and I have never imagined it would be this difficult to carry a child.

I did the research, it is a 50-60% chance a woman could miscarry in the first trimester. That is a horrifying percentage.

There is no medicine or cure to prevent these miscarriages from happening. I’ve had five miscarriages in my life time of the age 29 years old.

My ex-husband and I tried over and over again. We experienced tremendous loss and disappointment. I don’t wish for anyone to experience a death such as this. I become extremely depressed after the third miscarriage. It truly wasn’t the right time or meant to be.

I’ve always miscarried between 4 – 6 weeks. I mean honestly, I am now extremely happy I didn’t make the long-term connection with my ex-husband.

I became pregnant this past June with the love of my life. It was hard for me to have faith when I have been through five miscarriages. The home births to pass the baby , the d&c’s, the tears, the stress, the rushed wedding, the anger, the battle. It was hard on me over the years.

I’ve thought time and time again that I wouldn’t be able to be a mother. I pushed myself to change my eating habits, lose weight, took up meditation to reduce stress, nothing helped. I sunk into a depression over and over again after every death of my babies. I am a woman and I feel I didn’t have the choice to become a mother.

This time is different, I knew I was pregnant two weeks before I finally got a positive test. I have faith that this strong little muffin of mine hiding up in my uterus chilling and growing everyday would grow and become a healthy baby.

Our little blessing is so strong. It is truly a miracle and I am beyond excited. We’ve had two ultrasounds so far and the baby is growing and heart beat is strong.

Our baby at 6 weeks and 5 days:

Our baby at 8 weeks and 4 days (238 lbs.):

I am now 10 weeks and 6 days today (8/4/16 at 236.5 lbs) and so far I’ve been experiencing nausea, throwing up (throughout the day), dizziness, lose in appetite, craving popsicles, extremely tender breast, sensitivity down below, and increase in sex drive. I’ve never gotten this far. I am still shocked that I am going to become a mother. I am so happy!

For the past 11 weeks I’ve still been bleeding off and on. The number one thing us women look forward to when we become pregnant is nine months of no period. However, it is more common than you think. If you are experiencing this please go see the doctor for blood work and a ultrasound. We went to the emergency room after I started to bleed for the second time during the 11 weeks.

Turns out there was nothing wrong. I got to see the baby who is still hiding, getting big, and heart rate getting stronger.

All my blood work came back normal. They sent us home and within two more days I stopped bleeding. My mother also had this experience with me (her first born) the first 12 weeks.

I am just hoping that I will not experience anymore bleeding for the rest of my pregnancy. ::Fingers Crossed::

I look forward to sharing more updates with you and showing you more photos. Until then, take care!


Hello love! I am a blogger and writer here to help you to kick those bad feelings in the ass and assist you with your personal growth. I am here to share my lessons I’ve learned with you so you can love and learn yourself even more than you did yesterday.

0 thoughts on “I will be a Mommy! The story of miscarriages, defeat, and blessings.”

Leave a Reply