I want you to know that when I write these messages that they are from my heart. I’ve “walk the walk” and I have lived through these lessons and wish I was given this advice years ago.
So if loving yourself is foreign to you please continue to read this article to the end. If you are over giver or experience people taking you for granted. Please read this article to the end.
It was around 10 pm on September 24, 2017, when it became clear what my true purpose was and everything I need to do in order to carry it out. After experiencing this awakening for the past three years and starting to learn the secrets of the world one thing became very prominent to me.
That change and awareness start with knowing yourself and loving yourself. So as I scribbled it down in my book the message came to me about what I am down here in this world to do. That is to promote self-love!
Seriously that is where it all begins, with self. However, it takes bravery in order to step up and speak up for yourself. It takes bravery to look within yourself and see your true self.
It takes bravery to sit with your shadow side and care for bruised and damaged self as if you were a newborn child. It takes bravery because you must kill your ego and pride and admit that this part of you is your shadow side and you have to understand and heal it.
Once you admit to yourself that you have a shadow side that you need to heal. It then takes bravery to face disagreements, uncomfortable energy, judgment, and possibly criticism externally with others around you. Because once you become consciously aware of your shadow side you will want to heal, “fix it”, or “change it”.
You will begin to change internally and energetically your external will change as well. Honestly, people don’t like change because it can become uncomfortable. You are uncomfortable while you go through this process and time to time people around you are uncomfortable with you changing.
But you can do it! Bravery has been buried deep down inside of you underneath the “play it safe” or “don’t rock the boat” attitude. You are one-hundred percent capable of saying what is on your mind. You know what you want to say, but you are stopping yourself for whatever reason.
So I want you to change your perspective for a moment. Let’s say you are in a situation with a loved one and they did something that hurt your feelings. Currently, you’re feeling like you should express yourself to them. Then you start to feel that feeling (maybe in the pit of your stomach or feel your throat tighten up) and you think to yourself maybe I shouldn’t say anything just yet.
Ask yourself this question, what happens when you don’t speak up for yourself at the very moment when your gut says you should?
You know exactly what will happen. You spend the rest of the day obsessing and reflecting on what you could’ve said or done in the moment. You might feel regret and resentment because you allowed the situation to play out without speaking up for yourself.
You might feel anger and sadness because you couldn’t believe they would do or say something like that to you. You can’t understand why they do what they do because you know you would consider how they’d react or feel first before you acted or opened your mouth, right?
So why didn’t they do the same? Remember to set boundaries with your loved ones so they are aware of where you stand. Unlike other writers, I am not here to bash the “bad guy”. I am here to empower you to set aside the victim cape and be your own hero. I am here to empower you to take control of yourself and your life in whatever capacity that is for you. Instead of being a reactor become the enforcer of your life.
Your pattern almost your whole life has been to stop and think about how someone would feel or react to what you said and did. Maybe one day at an earlier age you did speak up for yourself and you might have been told by your parents or someone close to you that what you were wrong for expressing yourself in that manner. Or they didn’t support you in some shape or form.
Possibly even made you feel bad for using your voice in an assertive manner. This creates uncertainty within us and makes us believe that what we are doing and feeling is wrong. When in actuality it is not.
Please forgive your parents for they most likely aren’t as consciously aware of themselves and their shadow and possibly played a role in your now shadow side.
The past is the past. However, the past can still be healed. Take your transformation day by day and in baby steps. Remember that “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. To love yourself also means for you to be kind and gentle to yourself while you are making changes in your life.
So what does it take for you to love yourself? It takes bravery, my dear. Every day become a little braver as you take your life into your own hands. You will need bravery as you heal your shadow side and set boundaries with your loved ones.
Speak up and speak now about who you are and what you believe!
- My name is Siedah (Si-ee-dah), writer and life coach author at www.iamlovexo.com
- I’ve suffered from depression on and off for 15 years of my life and I no longer deal with it.
- I’ve battled with social anxiety almost all my life and I no longer have it.
- I met with two therapists within a year span but it only scratched the surface
- I healed myself within a three-year span and completely changed my life