Recently, I was reading the Cosmopolitan’s article called, “How Being Loved Can Boost Your Self-Esteem” by relationship therapist Esther Perel. I thought it was informative, but a few things didn’t sit right with me. I believe that if we acknowledge the love within we will attract love in a healthy way. Not a narcissist, psychopath, or an emotionally unavailable person.“Before you can love anyone, you must love yourself.”Click To Tweet
Unlike this relationship therapist, I totally agree with this quote when it comes to loving yourself and someone in a healthy manner. At least from my experience, in the past, I attracted a balanced mate when I was balanced and loving myself. When I was depressed and lost I attracted a narcissist who used me and tore me down.“Self-esteem comes from being able to define the world in your own terms and refusing to abide by the judgments of others.” ― Oprah WinfreyClick To Tweet
I believe from my own experience that the responsibility of self only resides with self. Yes, others who are positive can be an influence on you, but how long can that really be sustained? If you break up with this super positive boyfriend does your self-esteem meter go down?
Now, do I believe that a partner can make you feel more secure? Yes, I do. It is always nice knowing someone is choosing every day to support you and have your back because of who you are versus what you do for them. I believe when your partner gives you attention and compliments that it makes you feel loved and wanted.
How do you love? If compliments than words of affirmations might be one of your top love languages. See what your love languages are created by Gary Chapman.
How do you attract love in a healthy way?
Be your true authentic self and the universe will bring that person towards you. I believe in fate and destiny. I also believe that we put out our vibrational signals that communicate out to the universe. Therefore, we attract what we put out to the world.
Law of Attraction: Like attracts like. We attract to ourselves according to our thinking. Happy people attract those who love happiness or those who are happy. We also attract conditions in our lives because of the vibrations we create within our minds. “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
There are a few things I feel are extremely important when you want to attract love:
First, you need to heal from the past. We tend to attract the same “type” of a person as our ex because we don’t take the time to acknowledge the lessons we needed to learn in those past relationships and/or we didn’t take the time out to heal from that past hurt.
Secondly, I believe it is important to have the right mindset when you go into a new relationship. Are you getting into a relationship to avoid being alone or are you going back to your ex because you don’t want that person to move on? This takes self-awareness and just being very real with yourself about where you stand.
Third, don’t give off desperate vibes when you go back into the dating pool. In my experience, rushing felt right in the beginning but always ended badly. What is the rush? Take the time to get to know the many sides of a person. We tend to put our best face forward when we meet someone. It takes time for people to get comfortable to show the other sides of themselves.
Now it is your turn, in the comment section please share with me your #1 tip for attracting love in your life.