November 26, 2018| 11:53
Description: Everyone has an opinion but why do you allow it to alter your feelings, thoughts, or actions? Why do you care about what others think?
Why do you care about what others think? Rejection, disappointment, and judgment sucks when it is received. There is no doubt about that. But how much of what others think or say alter your feelings, thoughts, or actions? Not everyone will be kind and not everyone’s tone will be pleasant all the time.
To be fair, I want to point out sensitivity felt at constructive criticism versus someone being cruel – there is a difference.
Why do we care about what others think of us?
- We seek validation and/or attention (Am I right? Am I wrong? Am I beautiful? Am I….)
- We seek acceptance (Love me. Like me. Care about me.)
- Lack of confidence and/or self-worth
This starts with our parents when we are born, then our peers, our teachers, and then our bosses and spouses. I understand it feels good when others accept or validate you. However, what if you showed yourself kindness or rewarded yourself everytime you were authentic? What would that communicate to your brain? You will then stop searching for those good feelings and rewards outside of yourself. You will feel more secure in who you are, what you say, and what you do.
As a parent, I will teach my daughter discipline because it is beneficial when one is balanced. I will teach my daughter self-acceptance because even if she is wrong or she fails doesn’t mean she is less than. She will express gratitude and remorse for her actions. I will teach my daughter kindness instead of seeking approval because she doesn’t need to be validated outside of herself. I will teach my daughter how to love herself because it is much easier to learn as you grow up then having to strip yourself as an adult of all the habits taught since day one and start all over again.
Even if you are an adult, trust me it is worth it to strip yourself down and create yourself.