Can we really avoid suffering? Have you ever wondered why we experience suffering? Why do we experience trauma at such a young age? What is it we are here to learn after going through such trauma, especially if inflicted on us at a young age? How do you heal after experiencing suffering?
I am sure I am not the only one who wonders what the answers to these questions are. I believe we are here to experience life, learn lessons, and evolve spiritually. While I was researching Buddhism, I started to look into the Four Noble Truths of Suffering.
There’s the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering.
All of us aren’t taught how to heal ourselves mentally and emotionally, how to love ourselves, how to forgive, or how to let go. Our parents might have taught us some of these things. Some of our parents might not have fully explained how or why we need to learn these things. Maybe due to ignorance or maybe they were unable to recognize it’s importance.
The world is ever-changing and we’re evolving or we’re stuck in vicious cycles. We can not avoid suffering, it is part of the human experience. Instead of trying to avoid it, we must learn to heal from the experience and move forward.
It is when we choose to attach ourselves to the suffering experienced or drown in the emotions it has caused is when we remain stuck in the vicious cycle. I don’t believe we are meant to stay stuck because of the suffering experienced. I believe we should learn from the experience, allow ourselves to feel the emotions, forgive and let go.
We experience suffering and we can not avoid it
-Unavoidable suffering: aging, sickness, and death
-Birth and re-birth
According to the four noble truths, Buddha believed at the root of suffering was desire and ignorance. By desire, Buddhists refer to craving pleasure, material goods, and immortality, all of which are wants that can never be satisfied. As a result, desiring them can only bring suffering. Ignorance, in comparison, relates to not seeing the world as it actually is.
It is taught that the end of suffering can be experienced here on Earth and spiritually by experiencing Nirvana.
(in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.
Someone who is awakened still experiences suffering like everyone else in the world. However, I believe a person who is awakened has mastered non-attachment and healing for him or herself. Therefore, suffering very little from the experience.
When one meditates in the beginning, most assume that they should be able to stop their thoughts from surfacing because they closed their eyes, sat Indian-style on the floor, and concentrated on their breathing. I believe we should first try not to attach to the thoughts we are having. In other words, do not analyze, judge, or respond to the thought you had. Just let the thought go.
Self-love heals most old wounds
Some of us aren’t aware that we still suffer from our childhood wounds. Being abandoned by our parents, being rejected, or worse abused. Without the proper care and guidance towards healing from the suffering caused we will later in our lives subconsciously act on those past experiences.
For example, if we lost a parent due to death or divorce at a young age. Therefore, we didn’t get enough physical and emotional support from that parent. This loss can impact our relationships throughout our lives. People with unmet needs often have difficulty meeting the needs of others.
Quick tips to help you heal
- Heal your mind by cutting out the negative thoughts you have about the situation, person/people, and/or yourself.
- Ask for help if necessary (seek a therapist, astrologer, psychic, spiritual counselor, or life coach).
- Talk to a close friend or family member about the situation. Preferably someone with a similar experience.
Be self-aware of your suffering and be aware of how you react
Every situation is different and every person is different in how they deal with the suffering. From my experience, the key components to healing are: gaining perspective; seek understanding with self and/or others; allowing yourself to feel your feelings; forgive yourself and/or others; and let go of the feelings and mental taping playing in your mind about the situation.
The healing process can take hours, months or even years. I believe it is up to the person. There is no time length on your healing process. Some wounds cut deeper than others. Be patient with yourself and be kind.After happiness comes suffering. After suffering arises happiness. For beings happiness and suffering revolve like a wheel. —NagarjunaClick To Tweet
Practice patience and kindness
Negative thinking will only delay your healing process. I found it was easy to let go of the emotions and victim mindset faster than detaching from the thoughts that constantly swarm my head. That is why I can’t stress the importance of practicing patience and kindness towards oneself enough. Understanding that beating yourself up in any form does not lead to healing or happiness.