We’re all human and we make mistakes. If I can help you avoid making these three mistakes that I made then I must share my story with you.
A few years ago, I started this blog so I can help you avoid long-term drama and suffering that I did. You have to go at your own pace and learn your own way, of course. But if I can help you avoid any suffering at all by sharing my story, I feel I need to do that.
Over the years, I’ve learned several lessons about myself and myself with others. It’s been an uphill battle. It took a few years for me to get to the place that I am now, although I still have much to learn.
I am very grateful for everything I went through and all the people who played a role in my many transformations. It was desperately brutal trying to figure it all out, but I wasn’t alone. It is extremely important that you have a support system, even if that support system short-term.
So, let’s get these 3 mistakes I did:
Mistake #1: I didn’t listen to my intuition.
Our intuition is our inner guide that communicates to us. Sometimes this communication can warn us and keep us from harm. Other times, it can help us make those important and exciting decisions we need to make or even the most simple tasks.
When you begin to trust yourself something magical happens.
When I began to trust myself, everything in my life started to shift for the better. Of course, this didn’t happen overnight, it took time to develop the trust with listening to my intuition.
Although I still face challenges from time to time. Now, I am more confident in how I navigate through those challenges. Wisdom will provide you with more confidence to navigate through situations more easily.
I believe two of the biggest blockages when developing that trust within is fear and doubt.
What’s best for another isn’t always best for us. Therefore, I recommend that you listen to that inner voice when it first speaks to you.
What are the signs for blockage?
- You rely on your logical mind to make decisions on your thoughts and actions.
- Negative event keep occurring in your life.
- You’re operating from your ego instead from a place of compassion.
- You place too much emphasis on what other’s think.
- You feel disconnected from yourself and your surroundings.
- Often feeling stuck from a lack of clarity.
How to unblock your intuition?
- Focus and Breathing exercises – You can start practicing by first closing your eyes. Taking a deep breathe in and then exhale. Bring your awareness to your body, your hands, your feet, your legs, and your toes. Take another deep breath in and then exhale. Ask yourself a question and I recommend you first start with a simple question that requires a yes or no answer.
- Write down your hunches when they come to you
- Focus more on the process instead of expectations and results
Mistake #2: I put myself last more often than I should have.
I was co-dependent on my family and spouse. I always needed validation for my emotions.
Come to find out that my mother is co-dependent and she never validated my emotions as a child so I yearned for it all my life.
Although, I can’t blame her because she wasn’t shown it was okay to be vulnerable as a child and never embraced it as an adult.
Sometimes it is easy to recognize that you’re going through constant cycles that you need to learn from and other times it’s difficult to spot.
I kept entering into these situations that I could either choose to continue my co-dependent behavior or I can choose to be independent and validate my own emotions.
It’s fine to do for others, but it is a form of manipulation when you’re doing it because you fear to lose them which can be an addictive behavior.
How can you put yourself first?
- Change your perspective: stop looking at taking care of yourself as being selfish.
- Ask for help: there must be things that you can delegate to do. Giving up control of certain things will leave more room for “me time”. Find someone or a community where you can vent and find solutions.
- Find Balance: find a balance between giving to others and taking care of yourself.
Putting yourself first isn’t always easy when you’re not used to doing it or if you experience guilt when you do decide to put yourself first.
Take the advice from an EX co-dependent / people-pleaser – do it anyway. You won’t regret it.Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. That is how you invoke change. -Siedah, iamlovexo.comClick To Tweet
Mistake #3: I let people mistreat me in the name of love, so I thought.
People will test you to see how far they can go. Even a young child will test your boundaries.
I recently listened to Lewis Howes interview Robert Greene and he explains, and I am paraphrasing, how all humans want power.
Love that is unconditional doesn’t involve fear, manipulation, or power struggle. Those things involve your ego and love doesn’t have anything to do with ego, in my opinion.Love doesn't break hearts, egos do. Click To Tweet
Check out this video where I speak about how to set boundaries and stick to them: